Batman and Wonder Woman at Odds
Warning: This post puts us in a state of GEEK-DEFCON 1(Maximum force readiness against topics that interest nerds, geeks, & the occasional art student). You have been warned, so gird your loins.
It's an age-old geek discussion. If (insert name of Super Hero #1 here) fought (insert name of Super Hero #2 here), who would win? One of my fave comics answers that question. Wonder Woman kicks Batman's ass. Of what do I speak? The Hiketeia, of course, once of the comic industry's great books (DC, 2002).
One day I was looking through online lists of Batman comics, hoping for some Alex Ross art. I see this cover and get all excited because it is wicked cool. Is that Wonder Woman's sexy boot squishing Batman's face into the pavement? Oh yes, it is. Two of my fave characters in one story. SOLD.
I guess a little synopsis is in order before I can continue to babble on excitedly. A young woman named Danielle comes to Wonder Woman and invokes an ancient bond of protection that WW grants her, called the Hiketeia. Little does WW know that Danielle has committed murder. The murder was righteous, and done on her sister's behalf, but it was murder, nonetheless. Well, Batman he no likey murderers, right? So he is after Danielle. So WW is forced into the awkward position of protecting her young ward from the likes of Batman, while the Fates watch hungrily, just hoping sombody eats hot death. The fight scenes are fucking awesome. They are pretty well matched, but the fact is that Diana has got powers that all of Bruce's technology can never give him. He's got brute strength, righteous anger, and way too much determination, so he does pretty well for a mere mortal. But damn, if WW doesn't just mess his shit up. It's not one easy fight though. It's several messy fights, some in the poring rain.
WW has this resigned, almost tired air to her as she tries to resolve the matter with the doggedly perservering Batman (oh how I love him, let me count the ways). She appreciates his position but is frustrated that he does not understand the binding power of the Hiketeia oath she has taken with Danielle. It's only the best illustrators who can show this sort of body language in their frames, and these guys accomplish it brilliantly (J.G. Jones & Wade von Grawbadger, and yes, that's a real name). Both the line drawings and the coloring are bloody brilliant, and I just cannot fawn enough over the cover. Where can I get a huge print of it for my wall?
Okay, this is where I publicly admit to a small but potent geeky fantasy. I wake up one day and I suddenly have amazing comic book illustrator drawing skills, and I am finally able to illustrate the Batman-Wonder Woman comic book porn I have long wanted to see. I mean, c'mon, who wouldn't love this shit? Back alley, moody lighting, and Batman has Wonder Woman bent over the hood of the Bat Mobile. He's pulling her hair, her head is back and we get to see the look on her face. Yeah, baby! An alley cat watches them from a nearby roof, natch. And these are Alex Ross-esque versions of our two heroes, so WW has got some serious curves, she's truly tall, and she got big, strong thighs with the Kung Fu grip (watch out, Bruce)! Batman is truly broad-shouldered, he's got lots of battle scars, his ears are tall and pointy, and that is one strong jaw showing through. Methinks another spread in this steamy comic has everyone in the same position, but Batman has flipped WW over. He's doing a nice number on her with his mouth, despite the mask. He has learned to work around it, you see. And it seems to me that the Lasso of Truth might just come in handy...
Wanna see more of The Hiketeia? Theirs, not mine. Mine is illegal for decency and copyright reasons.
http://www.dccomics.com/features/hiketeia/hiketeia.html
posted by Stella Maris at 10:31 AM
3 Comments:
God DAMN That's a sale.
Are you reading Justice? All Alex Ross goodness. Bi-monthly, 12 part maxi series. TWO YEARS IN THE TELLING!!
Alllsssooo in non-Alex Ross goodness, the Geekfest that is the second crisis is coming.
heh heh heh. I had _no_ idea you were quite so geeky. Have I Bat-stories to swap with you then :D
1:13 AM
Alex Ross is just wicked talented. I want his skills. Gimme, gimme, gimme. And this is where I admit to having no real comic book background. I had no exposure to them as a child or teenager, and only became interested as an adult.
I own just two comic books,and have read very few others. Although I did fall deeply in love w/a friend's special Batman book that was all B&W art and which was written/drawn by some of the best in the business. Gaiman wrote one, which was quite good. Hardbound book, and I need to get my own copy to drool over.
So have I read anything else, Justice or otherwise? Nope. It's pitiful, really. But I have always had it bad for Batman. I smell another blog: Ode to The Dark Night.
My dream is to get the entire Dark Night series and just snuggle in bed till I read them all.
1:48 PM
I am happy to report that I dropped a bit of money at my local comic book shop and can now claim to have more than two comics in my collection. I bought the compilation book of Frank Miller's Dark Knight: Year One, and his Dark Knight Returns. I love buying the bound compilations, because you get all the extra artsy stuff, like the sketches, scripts, and alternate covers, etc. Makes my creative side happy. Also got Alex Ross' new Justice (of course it's great), and a funny new comic called Hero@Large (#1). It's funny; you might wanna check it out. The cover shows this kind of tore-up, tired-looking superhero sitting on the sidewalk holding up a tattered cardboard sign that says "Will Save World 4 Food. God Bless." How great is that? And the artwork style has this very urban, square-edged feel to it that is very appealing.
I fear that this could so easily be a very expensive habit. I eagerly await Ross' new oversized book that is coming out, which has all of the separate big books he did on Wonder Woman, Superman, and Batman. Of course the Batman one is out of print at this point, so the new bookis the only way to get a hold of it without spending $$$.
Todd at the comic book stor is my new guru. And Mister Chicago has volunteered for the job of Kaylin's Comics Mentor, a position with great benefits, but a terrible salary.
4:36 PM
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